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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25634845">Progress, Not Perfection</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/odyssxus/pseuds/odyssxus'>odyssxus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Gen, Getting help for mental health, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Nico di Angelo &amp; Percy Jackson Friendship, Nico di Angelo is a Good Friend, Percy Jackson Needs a Hug, Platonic Hand Holding, Protective Nico di Angelo, Protective Will Solace, References to Depression, Scars, Will Solace is a Ball of Sunshine, according to wikipedia this is long enough to be a novellette, and a random slime monster, i probably should've split it into more chapters but oh well, just lots of friendship and people supporting each other, whoops</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:47:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,259</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25634845</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/odyssxus/pseuds/odyssxus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico knew, logically, that Percy had been through a lot.  He'd been the Child of Prophesy, fought titans and giants, and had also fallen into Tartarus. But he'd somehow assumed that Percy was fine with all that. He had everything - friends, a a girlfriend, an amazing mother... </p><p>But after fighting a monster (one covered in far too much slime - Nico's jacket will never be the same) Nico noticed something odd on Percy's hips, dozens of thin white scars, too perfect to have been inflicted by a monsters, and some that looked like they were nearly a decade old.  Come to think of it, Nico had noticed similar scars on Percy's forearms as well.  </p><p>Or, Nico finds something out about Percy that surprises him (even though after more thought and a conversations it isn't all that surprising), and is determined to be a good friend.  Even if it means grabbing his healer boyfriend and Shadowing to Percy whenever the son of Poseidon asks.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>(percabeth only mentioned), Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>461</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Progress, Not Perfection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I do have a reason other than “lol angst” for this, and will explain it at the end if you’re interested. However I do want to be clear - self harm is referenced rather bluntly in this fic. There’s no literal self harm (as in a character hurting themselves in the story) but it is referenced a LOT. If that is something that is triggering to you please be aware of that and keep yourself safe. But this wouldn’t leave me alone until I had it written down, and I wanted to post it for various reasons. </p><p>Slightly AU for the timeline, in that Percy stayed at Camp longer after the Colossus attacked. Apollo/Lester, Leo, and Calypso have already left. And Percy's on break from school for plot reasons.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I gotta go talk to Percy about something, alright?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico blinked slightly in surprise at the serious tone Will used, but nodded his head, watching out of the corner of his eye as his boyfriend (he only called Will that in his mind - the whole idea of being out and dating someone still felt wrong in many ways, despite the happiness it had brought him) approached Percy with what Nico had deemed his “healer face”.  Nico wondered what Percy had done to warrant that expression.  Percy had apparently caught onto the expression as well, and was giving Will a resigned glare.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tried to ignore them, he really did, but constantly found himself looking over to the two. Percy had a closed off expression on his face, one Nico had only seen a few times when the son of Poseidon was desperately trying not to show his true emotions. Nico couldn’t see much of Will’s face, but he seemed incredibly earnest from his body language, like he was trying to convince Percy to tell him something. Percy was looking slightly uncomfortable, and for a change wasn’t even fiddling with anything, staying completely still.  Will had grabbed one of his hands, and seemed to be looking for something.  For the life of him Nico couldn’t guess what.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy suddenly pulled his arm away, expression briefly shifting to one Nico had seen in the mirror before - pain, sadness, devastation, and panic all at once.  He’d just never expected to see that look on Percy’s handsome face.  The expression was gone in an instant, but Will had clearly seen it as well.  Nico could tell from his body language that he would be talking in a low and soothing voice, and that the look in his bright blue eyes would be incredibly kind.  It was part of the reason Nico had fallen for the son of Apollo in the first place. Though he had resisted for ages.   It had been Percy who’d realised he liked Will in the first place, as Nico had been too busy bickering with the healer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy visibly wilted after a long moment, head hanging low and looking thoroughly disappointed about something. Will, in a move that surprised Nico, pulled Percy into a tight embrace. After a moment Percy hugged him back, fisting the back of Will’s camp tee.  Will pulled away first, though stayed close.  Percy nodded after a moment to something Will had said, tears clear on his face even from the distance, and allowed Will to lead him away to the Big House with an arm around his shoulders.  They were similar in height and build, both being tall and slender, but Will seemed considerably larger than Percy in that moment.  Nico didn’t think he’d ever seen the son of Poseidon seem so defeated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico looked away.  There was something too raw and real in the interaction, and he felt like he was intruding on a moment he had no business being a part of.  He walked back to the main area of camp quickly, deep in thought, and went to his cabin.  He didn’t know what Will and Percy had talked about, or why they’d gone to the Big House instead of the Apollo Cabin if something was going on with Percy, but he fully expected whatever it was to take some time.  He knew better then to wait up if Will was in “healer mode”. He’d figured that out nearly immediately.  He was an amazing boyfriend and friend, but had the tendency to lose track of time, or just ignore it, if there was something he was focusing on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was therefore surprised when, about 20 minutes later, there was a knock on his door and Will called out to him.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you’d be busy,” he said once he opened the door.  He studied Will’s face, taking in every tiny detail.  He looked unsettled by something, and incredibly worn out. Nico had only ever seen him look this terrible after Kayla and Austin had disappeared.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will shook his head. “Nah not now,” he replied. He sighed, face twisting momentarily in a sad expression. “I just wanted to see you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite the situation Nico flushed, feeling himself warm inside.  He didn’t think he’d ever get used to Will saying things like that about </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  “Come in before the harpies get you then,” he said, opening the door wider.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will did so, before pulling him into a hug. Nico staggered slightly when he found himself holding up most of his taller boyfriend’s weight, but managed to get his footing. He’d grown since the war with Gaea, and put on some much needed weight, but Will still dwarfed him.  Some of the other Apollo kids claimed he was going to end up being taller then Will and Jason both once he hit a growth spurt, but Nico wasn’t holding his breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Will grunted. “I just…” he trailed off.  Nico purposefully didn’t point out that he was repeating himself but still not explaining what exactly was wrong.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on you lump,” Nico scolded, somehow pulling Will to his bed.  It had been awkward the first time Will had come to his Cabin, but now Nico appreciated the time they could spend alone.  Neither of them were interested or ready to do more than cuddle (Will was like a limpet) and occasionally exchange a small kiss, but having time alone to just be and get to know each other more had been invaluable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will went easily, curling up on Nico’s bed with a lost expression on his face.  He looked like a puppy who’d wandered away from his den for the first time.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is gonna sound weird,” Will said after a long moment of silence in which they’d simply held hands, “but can you promise me something?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico turned to look at him. Will was looking up at the marble ceiling, tears in his eyes.  Nico felt alarm curl in his belly - what could have happened to make Will react like this? He’d literally seen Will reattach limbs without breaking a sweat, heal stab wounds that would make most trained doctors cry, and talk down the Ares cabin with ease. It took a lot to phase him to say the least.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” he said, hoping he’d succeed in keeping his tone soothing.  He didn’t exactly have much practise in the whole “being supportive thing”.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will swallowed, turning his head to bury his face in Nico’s shoulder.  “If you ever feel like you need to do something rash, talk to me first?” he said, sounding like he was begging. “Please?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico blinked. That had been the last thing he’d expected Will to say.  “Of course,” he responded easily.  “I mean, I know you’ll kill me if I shadow travel too much again, so I’m not exactly going to do that anytime soon.” He couldn’t think of what else Will could mean, maybe going too long without sleep? Will got pretty annoyed when he stayed up too late. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will chuckled, though he still sounded exhausted. “I would,” he agreed. He rolled away slightly, running a hand down his face, stopping to hold it over his mouth. He still looked like he was about to cry. “And promise me you’ll talk to me if you’re ever feeling overwhelmed or something like that,” he added, sounding vague. He sometimes got like that when he was trying to avoid saying too much about someone he’d been healing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico kissed him on the cheek, blushing bright red.  Displays of affection were still hard for him, but he was getting better.  Will smiled at him gently.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I promise,” Nico said.  And he did. He’d spent too long in a dark place to ever want to go back again.  He’d clawed his way back and was determined to never fall again. He had felt what it was like to be mostly happy, and couldn't imagine ever going back to being a shell of himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That Will felt the need to make him promise even after all their conversations on the subject terrified Nico.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is Percy okay?” he asked suddenly. He’d never once thought of Percy as someone who would ever struggle with </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but the way Will was acting made him wonder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will grimaced.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t eavesdrop,” Nico added dryly. “But you </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> just talk to him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah I’m not good at being subtle,” Will agreed with a small smile.  “I don’t think it’s possible for a child of Apollo.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s… probably true,” Nico agreed after a moment’s thought, glad to see Will happy again. But he was also right.  Apollo didn’t have a subtle bone in his body, even as a human.  “Percy?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will shook his head. “It’s not my place to say,” he told Nico honestly, looking regretful but firm.  Nico knew he would get nothing more out of him, much as he wanted to.  “Can I stay tonight?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico coughed slightly in embarrassment, though he knew Will didn’t mean anything by it.  “Sure,” he finally answered. His dad wouldn’t care.  Probably. “Just don’t hog the blankets.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will rolled closer to him, putting his head back on Nico’s shoulder and throwing an arm around his waist.  Nico teared up slightly at the show of affection, still unused to others showing they cared.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I make no promises,” Will slurred, already half asleep.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He did steal all the covers.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico couldn’t bring himself to care. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>###</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Percy,” Chiron said, voice soft. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing at all.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy shook his head, still curled up in the corner of the sofa. “I promised you, Annabeth, Will, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> my mom and Paul that I wouldn’t anymore,” he protested. “I broke my promise.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron moved his wheelchair closer, reaching over to grab both of his hands. Percy let him, taking an embarrassingly large amount of comfort from the centaur’s presence. Chiron was like another father to him in many ways, and it killed Percy to think he’d disappointed him.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you need any medical attention?” he asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy shook his head numbly, still refusing to look Chiron in the eye. He didn’t think he’d be able to bear the look on his face.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need words Percy,” the centaur reminded him.  They’d been here before after all.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy swallowed.  “I don’t need any medical attention,” he said softly. And he didn’t.  He hadn’t gone that far. Not this time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron squeezed his hands.  “Do you think you could tell me why?” he asked in that same gentle tone.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy pulled his hands away, tucking himself into a ball.  He was tall now at nearly six feet, but still good at making himself seem smaller.  It was a good way to avoid blows from monsters. And he’d been an expert since he’d been little and realised Gabe didn’t care how young he was.  He’d hit him if he had the chance, or worse.  Percy had gotten good at fitting in small spaces. He took a shuddering breath, fighting the urge to scratch at his skin, to make himself hurt.  It was nearly impossible to talk about, but he also knew from past experience that he would feel better once he did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And who better than Chiron? Annabeth was visiting her father, and he didn't want to worry his mother or Paul, not when his new sibling was due in a few short months.  They’d be there for him, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> that. But he had wanted to handle things on his own. He would have managed as well, maybe, if Will hadn’t noticed him fiddling with his clothing anxiously.  The son of Apollo was terrifyingly observant - he’d been the one to first realise, years ago now, that Percy had a “habit” of hurting himself.  A part of Percy felt terrible for that, for exposing Will to his problems, but he was also incredibly thankful to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighed, biting at his lip so hard that it bled. Chiron wordlessly passed him a tissue.  “I…” he trailed off, fighting back tears. He hated feeling like this! He felt like a liability, like he couldn’t be the person he needed to be. He was supposed to be the strong one, not the one falling apart . He was Percy Jackson after all, the Hero of Olympus, the child of prophecy, the boy who had killed the Minotaur, defeated Titans, and destroyed giants.  He’d survived Tartarus. He wasn’t supposed to be some scared little boy, jumping at shadows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take all the time you need Percy,” Chiron said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy shook his head. “There was literally no reason,” he spat, furious at himself for being so weak.  “I’ve done well on my tests recently, Annabeth’s around all the time, I’m on the swim team, the nightmares from Tartarus are going away, and I have my mom. I mean…” he ran a shaking hand through his hair, feeling like he could throw up. “I have no reason to be like this right now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron shook his head.  “You have been through far more than most Percy,” he told him. “And there does not need to be a reason for you to feel.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy laughed, a little hysterically. “I saw a utility knife in shop class,” he continued, the words pouring out of him. Now that he’d started talking he couldn't seem to stop, even though telling Chiron all this made him feel like even more of a failure, even more like a fraud.  “And I just grabbed it. I didn’t really think I’d use it, but I kept thinking about it. It’s like I couldn't stop myself.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where is the knife now Percy?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He swallowed, glancing up briefly at Chiron’s kind face. His breathing quickened somewhat from his emotions. He didn’t deserve Chiron’s help. There were demigods who needed it more than him after all.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Percy?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was in my bag,” he admitted. It was strange. He had sharper and much more deadly weapons on. The camp armoury had enough sharp objects to arm a small village, yet it was a yellow utility knife that had made him spiral and relapse.  “Will went to get it.” And hopefully get rid of it. Knowing Will he’d somehow send it directly into the sun just out of protective healer anger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron nodded, some of the tension leaving his strong frame.  “Have you talked to Annabeth? Your mother or stepfather?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy made a face.  He didn't want to talk to them about this.  Annabeth had been terrified on the Argo II after they’d escaped Tartarus that their fall would make him relapse. That the stress and constant fear would be too much.  She’d been right, but he had known if he gave into temptation it would only worry her more, and he’d refused to do that to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And now he had.  Maybe not on the quest, but somehow this seemed like more of a betrayal.  They were supposed to be okay now, and here he was having a breakdown after seeing a small yellow knife.  He was useless.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They will never judge you Percy,” Chiron promised vehemently.  “They love you, and want to know so they can help you. You deserve their support child.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy rubbed at his eyes roughly. Most days he knew that. Most days he could remember that he was as worthy of love and support as anyone else. The days he doubted that were far and few between now. But they still happened. All it had taken to send him back was a knife and a cut. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He let out a sharp sob, falling forwards.  Chiron caught him instantly, hugging him so tightly it almost hurt. “It’s alright Percy,” he soothed.  “You’re allowed to cry, to need help. We love you and want to be there for you. It’s alright.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shook his head weakly, though he really didn’t know what he was protesting. He was furious at himself for feeling this way, especially after he’d worked so hard to stop. He had survived Tartarus without feeling the itch, but now that he was out and safe he fell apart? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron pulled back, brushing sweaty hair from his face.  Percy fought the urge to whimper. He was already acting like a child - he didn’t need to make things worse. “Would you like to stay here tonight?” he asked, making it clear that he meant in the Big House rather than his empty cabin. Chiron wouldn’t trust him to be alone right now, not that Percy could blame him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thought for a brief moment before nodding tiredly.  It was half term(1) so he didn’t have to worry about going to school. He’d been planning on studying (he had a good system now, and his mom and Paul were both amazing at helping him) but knew if he tried to push himself too much he would never be able to concentrate.  Having a few nights at camp would be a godsend.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron sighed softly, showing Percy how relieved he was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry,” he said miserably, hating that he was worrying his mentor.  He hated everything about </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but somehow the concern and fear it caused other people was the worst. It went against his personality, having people fear for him, and just felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron smiled, hugging him again.  “You have nothing to be sorry for Percy,” he insisted. “Nothing at all. Recovery is not about being perfect, remember, but about keeping going regardless of how difficult it can be. And thank you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy frowned, standing from the worn sofa at Chiron’s urging.  “For what?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron led him to one of the bedrooms used as a sickroom when demigods were too injured to stay in the Apollo Cabin, ushering him inside.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For talking to me,” he replied simply. “For letting me try and help you.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy sat on the bed tiredly, kicking off his flip flops and shorts, uncaring that Chiron was seeing him in his boxers. Chiron had been around in ancient Greece after all, Percy was sure he’d seen worse.  He fiddled with the hem of his camp t-shirt, suddenly feeling anxious and ill again.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You do not have to show me Percy,” Chiron said gently.  Percy met his gize for a second, before swallowing, looking down at his knees.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” he whispered. But Chiron would worry if he didn’t show him, and Percy hated thinking of the old centaur staying up all night. He pulled off the t-shirt in a swift movement, shivering slightly in the cool air.  Chiron smiled at him softly, before dropping his gaze.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“May I?” he asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy nodded slightly, breathing through his mouth in an effort to keep himself calm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Words please.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron immediately touched the linear cuts on his lower abdomen, having already seen the one on his arm. That one was small - barely there - but the ones on his stomach near to his hips were longer, and deeper.  They were no longer bleeding, but they stung, and Percy couldn’t decide whether or not he liked the feeling.  He used to love it, used to crave it, but now it made him feel like he had failed in some way.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you Percy,” Chiron said, pushing him back against the pillows.  “Can I heal them?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy knew he should say yes.  There was no reason for him to walk around with them, even though they’d finish scabbing over and be nearly completely healed soon enough.  He knew Chiron would be surprised they hadn’t already healed, not considering how much time he’d spent in the sea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I…” he trailed off with a cough.  “I didn’t let them heal earlier,” he admitted. “I just couldn't.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And now?”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy nodded, before forcing himself to speak.  “Please.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron gathered some nectar from the bedside table, as well as some salve.  “They will scar,” the centaur told him sadly.  “As they are too old now for the nectar to heal them entirely.  But they will not pain you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy nodded, having suspected that.  It wasn’t like it mattered. They were covered, unless he wore extremely low cut bottoms, so it’s not like anyone but Annabeth would ever see them, and she already knew. He’d realised quickly that he would have to be careful about placement to avoid suspicion. The ones on his arms were from days when he’d been in a pretty dark place. “That’s alright,” he said, taking a sip of the nectar as Chiron spread a thin layer of antiseptic on the cuts. He covered them with a bandage, before smiling down at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Chiron,” he said, suddenly feeling completely spent. The fight with the Colossus hadn’t been particularly hard, but he was feeling wrung out both physically and emotionally.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are very welcome Percy,” Chiron said immediately. “I shall try to call your mother and inform her you are staying here. Would you like me to tell her anything else?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy thought for a moment, understanding what Chiron was asking, before shaking his head.  “No,” he replied firmly. “I’ll tell her when I get back,” he finished.  His mom would just worry about him otherwise, and she needed her rest. Apparently his baby sister was even more active then he had been. Percy couldn’t wait to meet her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron just nodded, wheeling himself from the room. “Please do not hesitate to come to me if you need anything Percy, regardless of the hour,” he said, turning out the lights. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy smiled shakily. “I know. But I’m okay,” he responded, being completely honest. He still felt ashamed and embarrassed that he’d relapsed, and more than a little wrung out, but no longer felt any urge to hurt himself.  He knew he had Chiron and Will to thank for that, and resolved to thank the son of Apollo the next day.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron smiled again, looking lighter.  “I’m glad,” he said. “Sleep well young one.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will,” Percy replied, knowing it was true. He was pretty sure Chiron had put something extra in the nectar, for he could barely keep his eyes open.  He heard Chiron wheel away, leaving the door open just in case, and then nothing more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>###</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will wasn’t really prone to worrying. He had been raised by a mother whose attitude towards life had been relaxed and calm, and who had taught him that worry was pointless.  You could either change something, or not. If you couldn’t change it there was no point in worrying, and if you could change something well, why worry about something you could fix?  She’d made sure to plan for every eventuality, but then promptly put the matter from her mind.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will had taken her attitude to heart.  When he was healing there was no time to worry, just things to do and people to fix.  He wasn’t as good as she was, but he tried. And, for the most part, he was able to succeed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But there were times when he couldn’t help himself. He worried about the people he loved almost obsessively, especially since he’d moved to camp year round.  The War with Kronos had just made things worse, especially after Michael and Lee had been killed and he’d become head counsellor.  After that he saw it as his job to worry about his younger siblings.  And that wasn’t even taking into account his worry about the other campers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or Nico.  Nico had a whole category of worry in Will’s mind.  The son of Hades could be a complete and utter idiot at times, and while he was better now, Will couldn’t help but worry about him.  He had no doubt Nico could fend for himself, but he had been through so much. He deserved to have someone worry about him.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then there was Percy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will had always liked Percy, always looked up to him as well as Annabeth.  The son of Poseidon was accepting, fun to be around, always up for a spar, and just generally a great person and friend. But there was something about him that put Will on edge. It wasn’t his powers, though he was terrifyingly strong, or anything like that. Will was a healer first and foremost, and there was something about Percy that put his senses on high alert. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d only figured it out after the War with Kronos. He’d caught Percy (completely accidentally) coming out of the showers early in the morning after he’d spent the night healing, and seen the thin, regular scars on his hips and upper thighs.  Several of the other scars on his body suddenly made more sense, and Will had had a moment of utter clarity. Most demigods had scars (it was hard not to when monsters constantly attacked), but some of Percy's seemed too perfect to be inflicted by a monster, especially a couple on his forearms.  Now Will knew why. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will’s first reaction, of course, had been complete and utter relief that Percy had the Curse of the River Styx.  That meant he couldn't hurt himself again. It simply wasn’t possible.  Then he’d forced (he was stubborn </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> a healer) Percy to talk to Chiron, who’d convinced him to talk to Annabeth, who’d convinced him to talk to his mother. And he himself had spoken to Percy, wanting to know what he could do. And he’d researched of course. If Percy Jackson, someone who was always there for others and ready with a joke, could struggle, so could anyone else.  He didn’t want to miss the signs, not again. He, with Percy’s permission, had studied how the scars felt, imagined what they would have felt like fresh, so he could sense them on someone else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So far he’d been lucky.  No one else had set off his senses like Percy had.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not even Nico. He’d come back to camp nearly dead from shadow travelling, and carrying so much sorrow that Will had felt sick, but did not carry the scars that Percy did. Nico was better now (so much better), but Will was careful.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy, even after the war and after the Styx’s curse had been washed away, had felt okay.  Tired and weak from Tartarus yes, but okay. Will had not sensed anymore of </span>
  <em>
    <span>those</span>
  </em>
  <span> injuries on his body.  Until last night.  There hadn’t been many, and Will had been able to tell that they weren’t deep or particularly bad per say (from a physical point at least), but they had been there.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy had tried to deny it, tried to hide, but Will knew better.  He’d managed to get him to Chiron, grabbed the utility knife Percy had admitted to having, and went to sleep curled up against Nico, worrying desperately for his friend.  Nico could clearly tell something was wrong, but knew not to push. Not when patient confidentiality was a thing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You coming?” Nico asked, glaring out the doors of the cabin at the sun.  Nico was not a morning person. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will grinned. “I’ve been up for ages now,” he teased. He, being the son of the sun god, was a morning person, and loved being in the light. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico just rolled his dark eyes, but was still giving him a concerned look under the sarcasm. Will knew he’d freaked his boyfriend out the night before, but hadn’t been able to stay away.  It was a little irrational, but he’d needed to know that Nico was safe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want food,” Nico complained. “Let’s goooo.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will rolled his eyes playfully, but allowed Nico to drag him bodily to the dining pavilion. It was still destroyed thanks to Colossus, but they would sit on the rubble easily enough, and the hearth was fine.  He tucked into his eggs with relish, ignoring the playful comments his siblings said at him spending the night in the Hades Cabin.  His father (Lester?) had already left, and Will found himself missing him. It had been bizarre, having him here, but Will had loved it in a way. Especially when he’d seen for himself that his father cared in his own way.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico chatted away with Kayla, arguing about something pointless as usual. The two could be frighteningly similar, though would never admit it, and seemed to enjoy bantering.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You okay man?” Austin asked almost silently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will nodded, afraid that if he opened his mouth toast would fall out.  He swallowed, taking a sip of juice before answering. “Yup!” he answered. And he was - just worried about Percy.  The son of Poseidon had yet to appear, and while Will knew Chiron had him well in hand, he wanted to see his friend for himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Austin glared at him, as though knowing he wasn’t telling the complete truth, but eventually just rolled his eyes, leaving Will in peace.  Finally.  Will was pretty social for the most part, and enjoyed spending time with his siblings, but was an introvert at heart, and enjoyed having some time to think on his own. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked up, lips twitching in a faint smile when he saw both Nico and Kayla start in surprise, too wrapped up in their argument to notice Percy’s approach.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey man!” Austin grinned. “I thought you left last night?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah,” Percy grinned, all easy grace. “I’m on half term, so figured I’d stick around for a few days.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kayla turned to grin at him. “Can we spar later then?” she demanded.  She was terrible with any weapon but a bow, and had somehow roped Percy into trying to teach her how to use a sword.  Will knew she was improving, but she would never be anything but an archer.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy laughed happily. If Will didn’t know any better he never would have guessed the struggles he faced.  “Yeah sure,” he agreed easily. “I’ll kick your ass though,” he added.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kayla shrugged. “Yeah, but I’d kick your ass in archery Jackson, so that’s okay.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy grinned again, before turning to Will.  “When you get a change can we talk for a sec?” he asked, body language still relaxed.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will smiled easily enough back, managing not to show any of his intense relief or residual worry. “For sure,” he agreed immediately, though he didn't bother getting up.  He wanted to, wanted to make sure Percy was okay, but knew the other boy wouldn’t want him to cause a scene.  He’d just find Percy again once he’d finished his breakfast.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy smiled, and this time Will was able to see the stress lines around his bright eyes. He wasn’t really okay - not yet.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Meet you after lunch?” Percy asked, turning to Kayla.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She grinned, before turning back to her breakfast. Percy wandered off to the Big House instead of going to the Poseidon table (or the rubble that had been the Poseidon table), accepting a mug from Chiron on the porch.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico met his eyes, looking concerned.  He and Percy had had a long conversation after the War with Gaea, and were now pretty close friends. Percy, it seemed, had seen Nico as something of a younger brother. Someone who annoyed him at times, worried him a lot, and frustrated him as well. But also someone he did (slightly begrudgingly at times) trust and someone he wanted to be close to.  It had never occurred to him that Nico would have a crush on him, just as it had never occurred to him that Rachel had liked him, or that Annabeth did.  Nico and many other campers had assumed it was Percy being oblivious, but Will suspected differently.  He’d seen Percy low before, and knew he could have frighteningly low self worth. He didn’t see people liked him because he didn’t think anyone ever would. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tried to send his boyfriend an encouraging look, but was pretty sure he failed miserably when Nico just made a face at him.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He made his way to the Big House after finishing his breakfast, hands in his pockets. Nymphs and Dryads were already working to repair the damage wrought by the Colossus (who’d looked… freakishly like his dad normally did. Will had hated it) and he knew Camp would be back to normal soon enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey man,” he called, waving to Percy.  The older demigod was sitting cross legged on a comfortable outdoor sofa, holding a mug of steaming hot chocolate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy smiled at him, looking much better then he had the night before. “Hey,” he called. Will sat beside him, regarding him carefully.  He grinned. “All healed?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy nodded ruefully.  “A few new scars, but Chiron healed me right up,” he confirmed.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I?” Will asked, already reaching over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy just nodded, shifting an arm so Will could pull at his top and push his sweatpants down slightly to reveal the new scars.  He bit the inside of his cheek, despising the sight of them. To him it was evidence that he’d failed as both a healer and as a friend.  The scars had healed perfectly - but it was still pretty obvious what they were, especially considering how many other older scars there were. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Will,” Percy said.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will pulled away, letting Percy’s blue long sleeved t-shirt fall back into place. “For what?” he asked, genuinely confused.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy just sighed, looking down into his hot chocolate. “You don’t need my shit on top of being the main healer for camp,” he said apologetically. “You literally reattach people’s limps. You don’t need to worry about me being an idiot.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will huffed a small laugh, reaching over to steal Percy’s hot chocolate. He ignored the squawk of outrage Percy gave him. “Don’t apologise,” he ordered.  “I’m a healer. I want to help. And you're my friend Percy - I’d like to think you’d do the same for me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course!” Percy said immediately, looking startled.  He looked a little bit like a baby seal, all wide sea green eyes, long wavy hair, tanned skin, and sharp bone structure.  Will mentally pat himself on the back for never developing a crush on the other boy. Percy was really too good looking for his own good, even if he couldn’t see that himself. Anyone else as handsome as he was (he’d literally seen people stop in their tracks to look at him, it was beyond hilarious) would get a massive ego, but Percy seemed to think he was just some random guy.  Will really wanted a few minutes alone with whoever had made Percy believe he was unworthy of love.  Annabeth would help him, he was sure. Probably Nico too, and the rest of the seven, if they ever found out.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will hoped they did, in a way.  Percy deserved the support.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He punched Percy on the arm. “Then accept help yourself!” he scolded with a grin.  “And honestly, all I did was throw you in Chiron’s direction for him to deal with.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy rubbed his arm in mock hurt before his expression softened.  Will fought the urge to giggle.  Percy had made that face at a new daughter of Aphrodite a few weeks ago so she wouldn't be so nervous, and the poor kid had nearly passed out.  Annabeth had nearly broken a rib laughing.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did more than that,” Percy protested, voice firm.  “I wouldn’t have gotten help if it weren’t for you, wouldn’t have stopped -” He grimaced. “Mostly stopped.  I fucked up, and I’m sorry. It’s not fair on you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will punched him again, gently this time. “Chiron’s taught you better than this,” he scolded.  He’d done the research as well, and knew this could be something Percy always struggled with. “You didn’t fuck up, and you don’t need to apologise.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy blushed, but nodded after a long moment.  “Thanks though. I…” he trailed off, looking up to the sky and blinking rapidly.  “I owe you man.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will smiled slightly, but didn’t say anything.  He disagreed - he was a healer, and Percy didn’t owe him anything - but knew better then to argue.  Percy likely wasn’t in the right frame of mind for Will to push it anyway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No worries,” he said instead, finally giving his friend his hot chocolate back. It was nearly empty.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re an ass,” Percy growled when he saw the contents of the mug, looking wounded.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will just grinned.  “Call that payment then,” he declared, some Texan drawl infusing his tone.  Percy just made a face at him, and the vulnerable moment passed.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron suddenly trotted into view, standing on the grass with Sherman Yang at his side. The son of Ares was clearly annoyed about something, but Chiron was unmoved.  Sherman left, sending one last dark look Chiron’s way.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything okay?” Percy called down.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron grimaced.  “The dryads tell of a new monster in the woods, one that is fast approaching camp.  They do not think it is particularly dangerous or smart, but it is large and destructive. They have asked us to send demigods to destroy it before it hurts more trees.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will wrinkled his nose. He’d much rather heal than deal with monsters.  He could fight if he had to, but it wasn’t his strong suit. At his side Percy sat up straighter. “How many of us do you need?” he asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron shrugged elegantly. “Two should be more than enough,” he said honestly. “I have seen similar monsters, and they are not fully sentient or particularly strong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go,” Percy volunteered immediately.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will opened his mouth to protest, but Percy held up a long fingered hand. “I’m not volunteering to be self sacrificing or anything I promise,” he said. Will regarded him for a long moment, thankful that as a child of Apollo he could almost always tell when someone was lying. Percy was telling the truth.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just really want to stab something, and no one at camp right now can give me a challenge when we spar.<br/>
 </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron seemed to have reached a similar conclusion to Will.  He smiled, laughing slightly.  “Nico had also volunteered,” he told them, “and for a similar reason. You children of the Big Three do tend to get restless.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will snorted. That was an understatement. Sherman Yang was the only camper still willing to spar with Nico right now. He rolled his head over to look at Percy. “We can find someone else to go with Nico if you don’t feel safe going,” he told him. Sherman has an injured arm so he couldn’t go, but he was sure they could figure something out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy smiled. “I know,” he assured Will and Chiron both. “But seriously, stabbing something sounds great. It’ll distract me from the English essay I have to write this week.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chiron finally nodded in agreement. He was worried for Percy, Will knew that, but also understood that Percy needed to be able to move about. He was too ADHD for anything else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I shall inform Nico you will be accompanying him.” Chiron rode off, sending Will one last significant look. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you promise me something?” Will asked after Percy had stood and stretched, Riptide in his hand in pen form. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I make no promising about making sure Nico doesn’t use too many powers,” Percy said immediately, looking alarmed at the thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will rolled his eyes. “He won’t, I’ll just make him stay in bed for three days again if he does and he nearly went stir crazy then.” It had helped, but demigods weren’t meant to be still for so long. Nico had been ready to climb the walls by the end of the first day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy laughed, sounding far more cheerful then he had at the start of their conversation. He still didn’t feel right, not yet, but Will wasn’t worried about him going off and hurting himself. He could end up hurt, but that would be the monster's fault. Will knew once he spoke to Annabeth and his mom and stepfather he’d feel even better.  He knew this was something that would always dog Percy’s steps, something that he himself would always worry about, but also knew Percy really was doing better. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Promise me that the next time you feel like hurting yourself, the next time you see a knife and start thinking about using it, you’ll tell someone. Anyone. Gods even Iris message Nico to tell him you need me for something and I’ll make him shadow and get you.  Just don’t try to hide it and handle it by yourself, ya hear me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy remained silent for so long Will was sure he had overstepped his boundaries, that Percy would just leave without answering, but Percy surprised him. “I can’t promise that without a doubt,” he said, a horribly sad look briefly crossing his face, “but I promise that I will try. And if I fail, I swear on the River Styx I won’t hide that. I’ll come to someone for help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thunder boomed, and a knot in Will’s chest loosened. He knew he could never make Percy swear not to hurt himself. He (hopefully) wouldn’t do it again, but Will knew it was a possibility. But at least this way he knew Percy would have someone there for him, would have someone to help. Given the circumstances it was a huge leap forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He jumped up, hugging Percy tightly. The other boy just thumped him on the back before pulling away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna go find your boyfriend and to kill a monster,” he smirked. “Talk to you later!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will watched him stroll down the steps and towards the woods, riptide in this hands. “Don’t you dare come back to me needing a limb reattached Jackson!” He shouted. “I’ll sick Annabeth on you if you do!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy just waved over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t okay, not really, but he was trying and he was making progress. That’s all Will could ask for. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>###</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was the last time Nico would ever do anything with Percy.  As children of the Big Three they were more than strong enough to get rid of pretty much any monster.  Percy could create hurricanes for gods sake, literally control the water in the air around them (and </span>
  <em>
    <span>in</span>
  </em>
  <span> them, and Nico wasn’t jealous of that, nope not one bit), and was a phenomenal swordsman.  Nico wasn’t too shabby himself, and could literally shadow travel and summon a skeleton army.  And they’d both survived Tartarus.  They could handle themselves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was just embarrassing.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If anyone asks,” Percy bit out, slashing at a tentacle like… thing.  “We didn’t have this much trouble, okay?”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico stabbed at something.  He had no idea what it was. “No argument from me,” he replied, still annoyed.  “What </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> this thing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have no idea,” Percy yelled, leaping over the things head and slashing with Riptide. It seemed to be slowing down at least. “But it’s disgusting. There is way too much slime for my comfort.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Agreed,” Nico said.  He’d never get it out of his jacket.  It was bright green, and smelled like cat vomit.  Not fun.  He summoned a skeletal bear and directed it to attack.  It didn’t have much success, but at least it gave Nico and Percy a second to catch their breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s a stream nearby,” Percy informed him, panting slightly.  He had a cut across a high cheekbone, and the lower half of his sweater was coating in mud and slime.  “If we lead it there I can get this thing.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico didn’t feel overly optimistic.  “You think water will kill it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy shook his head. “Probably not, but Chiron’s been getting me to try and play around with ice now that it’s cold enough out, and I can make enough icicles to stab it a lot. Hopefully.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite the situation Nico smiled, impressed.  “That actually sounds like it could work,” he mused.  “Aw no.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico pointed with his sword.  The skeleton bear had fallen apart.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will will literally kill you if you summon too many skeletons,” Percy reminded him, showing that he knew the son of Apollo all too well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico rolled his eyes.  “I can do one more easily,” he protested truthfully.  “You just go and get those icicles ready.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy rolled his eyes but ran off, leaving Nico to summon another skeleton (this time of some weird monster, but he didn’t really care enough to look that hard) and lead the thing.  Nico really hoped Percy’s plan worked.  This monster was just gross.  He’d much rather deal with a dragon or something. At least they were predictable.  And not oozing slime.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His skeleton monster was succeeding, but Nico could sense it was going to fall apart soon enough. It was being battered from too many angles, and already wasn’t a complete skeleton as is. They were just lucky it had lasted this long. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He got to the stream and, not seeing Percy anywhere, instantly shadowed into a tree, hoping he was out of the line of fire. He had no interest in going back to camp having been stabbed by an icicle.  Percy would be beside himself with guilt for one thing, and Nico was properly terrified of telling his healer boyfriend he got hurt because he didn’t get out of the way. Will may be kind and laid back most of the time, but he was vicious when it came to his patients.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy suddenly yelled and, faster than Nico could see, the monster was impaled by what seemed like hundreds of icicles of varying sizes.  It lumbered around for several long moments, trampling more trees and making deafening noises, before finally falling to the ground and dissipating into dust.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico dropped out of the tree immediately.  “That was actually pretty amazing,” he admitted.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy stepped out of the river, looking disgusted and more than a little exhausted.  “Thanks,” he said.  “Any idea how we get this shit off?”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico raised an eyebrow.  Percy was somehow covered in green slime, despite having just stepped out of the river. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d try the river again,” he responded dryly, intensely relieved he’d only got the slime on his coat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy rolled his eyes but obliged, stepping back into the water and kneeling down.  Nico watched him for a moment, before taking pity on the son of Poseidon.  “I think you’re out of luck,” he said.  Percy had gotten some of it out, but the rest seemed to have embedded itself in the fabric of Percy’s hoodie.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you’re right,” Percy sighed.  He waved a hand, drying himself off instantly. The slime stayed.  Percy sniffed at it and, making a disgusted face, ripped off the black sweater.  His long sleeve t-shirt seemed to have at least escaped the slime treatment. Percy made a pained noice with the hoodie over his head, mumbling about his hair. It was long now - nearly at his shoulders - but he didn’t seem to have any interest in cutting it.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico rolled his eyes, gazing at Percy’s exposed midriff despite himself.  He may not like Percy that way anymore, but the other boy was still incredibly good looking.  Will wouldn’t begrudge him a glance.  Except there was something strange, something that threw Nico off.  Percy had a few scars that seemed to be from monsters, gashes, claw wounds, and other various marks  that had started to heal before he’d been able to have nectar or ambrosia or submerge himself in salt water, but these were different.  His sweatpants had fallen down slightly in the flight (and Percy’s subsequent battle with the slime), exposing the son of Poseidon's sharp hip bones.  And with them what seemed like dozens of thin white scars, all far too regular and perfect to have been made by a monster.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Come to think of it, they matched some scars on Percy’s forearms - all thin and perfectly straight.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy had finally managed to pull off his destroyed hoodie, and pulled his top down roughly.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to freeze,” Nico pointed out, still staring at Percy. The scars were out of view now, but seared into his mind. What on earth could have caused them? Was it from something before Percy had realised he was a demigod, before he had access to ambrosia? He’d never heard of a monster that made marks like that.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy made a weird noise, half agreement and half disgust. “Better than wearing this,” he said, looking like he was debating on leaving the offending garment in the stream.  He didn’t though, and folded it so the worst of the slime was hidden.  He finally looked over to Nico, before frowning. “You good?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico bit the inside of his cheek, debating on whether or not to say anything.  He would honestly count Percy as one of his best friends at this point. He was one of the only people who’d never acted scared and uncomfortable around him, even though they’d had a rather rocky relationship at times. And there was something about those scars that put Nico on edge and made him want to question Percy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What…” he trailed off, breathing out sharply.  “What monster gave you those scars?” he finally asked.  “The ones on your hips and arms?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He expected Percy to laugh, or start telling him about some bizarre monster he’d never heard of.  Or, if they were from Tartarus (doubtful - some looked far too old for that), for Percy to grimace and swear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead Percy went pale, face grey under his perpetually tanned skin.  He looked like he was about to be sick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico’s eyes widened. “Sorry!” he blurted out awkwardly. “You don’t have to say.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy ran a hand through his hair, looking troubled.  “I…” he trailed off, sitting hard on a fallen log.  He was shivering slightly, and Nico regretted asking while they were still outside.   He was cold wearing long sleeves, a wool sweater, and his aviator jacket.  Percy was just in a thin cotton top. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico approached him carefully, laying a hand on his shoulder after a moment's hesitation. “You’re going to freeze,” he said again, feeling inexplicably nervous.  “We should head back.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy nodded, looking like he was about to cry. Nico didn’t know whether he wanted to hug him (he blamed Will for his new urge to give the few people he cared about physical affection - they were far and few between, but still) or shadow away from the naked show of emotions , leaving Percy alone with his thoughts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally Percy stood, but stayed close to Nico’s side.  “It’s a short walk,” he finally answered, his voice hoarse. “I’ll survive.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico remained silent, walking beside the taller demigod.  No other monsters approached them thankfully.  Percy seemed too thrown to fight, and Nico himself was too worried to notice.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he said again, still feeling guilty though he didn’t really understand why. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy cleared his throat, hugging himself tightly. “I uhh…” he trailed off, clearly deep in thought. “They’re not from a monster,” he finally said. He was speaking so silently Nico had to strain to hear him. He ran his fingers along his arm, right over where Nico knew he had a particularly long scar. He’d always just assumed it was from a monster. “I did them to myself,” he finally said in a rush, looking at the ground instead of at Nico. “First ones were from when I was nine I think? Then a couple from a few days ago.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico felt his breath catch in his chest.  There had been times, back when he’d been wandering on his own, when he’d neglect to heal an injury.  He’d press on it, observe it, notice how the pain had seemed to ground him in an oddly terrifying way. It hadn’t been often (being injured just slowed him down, weakened his powers) but it had happened. He’d exactly twice thought about what would happen if he did something on purpose,  but those moments had been brief, and not something he’d dwelled on. Thank the gods.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But to know that Percy had hurt himself on purpose, many times considering all the scars, made Nico feel sick. He’d always assumed Percy had some sort of idyllic life, at least for a demigod. His father obviously cared for him, he had an amazing stepfather, his mother was likely the best mother there was, and he had a girlfriend who adored him. That wasn’t even considering how people at camp looked up to him. Even Clarissa and other members of the Ares Cabin respected Percy, even if they weren’t the closest of friends. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I -“ He cut himself off. What could he possibly say?  He knew he had to say something. Percy was his friend now, and he knew he’d try to help him if their positions were reversed.  But Nico wasn’t the best with people, and didn’t know how to make Percy feel better. Or if he even could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will knows?” He finally asked, abruptly remembering his boyfriends odd behaviour from the night before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy snorted softly, still pressing on the old scar so hard the tips of his fingers were turning white.  Nico wondered if he should stop him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s the first that realised,” Percy answered. “He basically dragged me to talk to Chiron kicking and screaming. Well,” he said. “Not really. But definitely protesting a lot.”  He pressed on the scar again, letting out a shaky breath.  Nico gave in and gently pulled his hand away, lacing his fingers through Percy’s. He’d never held hands with anyone with his mama, Bianca, and Will, but it felt like the right thing to do. Percy held on tightly, and Nico smiled faintly. It should be awkward, holding Percy’s hand, but it wasn’t. He felt needed, like he could do something to help. He liked the feeling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, hoping it was the right thing to say. Will and his siblings were always talking about how good communication was for mental health. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy shook his head. “It’s just me being stupid.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico grimaced. He hated how Percy could go from being some massive dork to so self deprecating. It gave him emotional whiplash. “It’s not,” Nico said dryly. He squeezed Percy’s hand, considering his options. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought about it, twice, when I was wandering around the underworld,” he admitted, hoping that it was the right thing to admit. “Was I stupid then?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy looked down at him, giving him a surprised and sad look. There was no pity in his expression, just understanding with a little fear. “No!” He protested, looking protective and angry all at once. “I let you down,” he continued. “I -“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> Nico smacked Percy’s arm with his free hand before he could continue on a rant where he blamed himself for everything that had gone wrong in Nico’s life. Nico had heard it before, and they’d spent time talking about it. Will had forced them to. Well more accurately given them his best “I’m a healer and know what’s best for you both!” look until they’d complied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d been right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not what we’re talking about,” he told Percy. “But if I wasn’t stupid for considering it, you definitely aren’t stupid either.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy rolled his eyes, some fire back in his expression. He didn’t, however, let go of Nico’s hand. “I’ve had the talk already,” he groused. “From your boyfriend, Chiron, Annabeth, my mom, </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> my stepdad.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then listen to them Kelp Head,” Nico scolded, stealing Thalia’s nickname for Percy. He wondered if she knew. Likely not, but she’d probably be a good person to know. She’d have no shame about knocking him on the head until he realized he had nothing to be sorry for. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy laughed slightly. “I’m trying to, be admitted. He licked his lips, looking uncomfortable again. “But it’s hard.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico got that. He really did. He didn’t really understand why Percy of all people would have started hurting himself at the age of nine, or why he’d continued for so long, or why he’d felt the need to hurt himself again just a few days past, but he understood that it was hard to feel like you were worthy of love. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The trees around them started to thin, and Nico could tell they were getting closer to camp. He briefly considered letting go of Percy’s hand, before deciding against it. The only person who’s opinion he really cared about was Will’s, and his boyfriend would understand. He’d probably be proud of Nico for being so supportive and emotionally mature.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did you start?” He couldn’t resist asking. He was nosy, especially with the people he cared about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy looked up to the sky, Adam’s Apple bobbing as he swallowed. “First time was an accident,” he started after a long moment of silence. “I cut myself on a branch, but felt better after. There was never enough money when I was a kid, my mom was always worried, the kids at school hated me and the teachers thought I was a useless delinquent.” He breathed out sharply, hand spasming around Nico’s. “My mom married my first stepdad to hide my scent when I was around three” he said in a rush. “And he liked knocking me around a lot. I let him. I just assumed if he hurt me he wouldn’t hurt my mom.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico let out a low growl, furious at the thought of someone hurting a child, let alone his friend. “He’s dead then?” He demanded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy nodded distractedly. “Died right after my first quest,” he confirmed.  Nico made a mental note to find the man and make sure he was suffering enough. His father always appreciated it when he took interest in the Underworld, so he wouldn’t mind. “Hurting myself just made me feel more in control somehow, and weirdly calm. Like nothing else mattered.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Percy,” Nico said slowly, thinking carefully about what he wanted to say. He hadn’t expected this when he had agreed to go kill the tentacle monster thing, and he could tell from Percy’s shaking voice he hadn’t either. If he hadn’t seen the scars he never would have guessed Percy had dealt with this for so long. In a way it made him feel better about himself - made him feel like he wasn’t alone in struggling at times. And he also resolved to help however he could. “Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me.” He knew how hard it would’ve been. “Are the ones from a few days ago healed?” He hadn’t seen anything that looked fresh, but there was no telling how far down the cuts went. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Percy said immediately. “Will noticed last night, convinced me to go to Chiron.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico sighed slightly in relief. That was something at least. “Is that why you decided to stay at camp?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Chiron would’ve told my mom, which is fair and I will tell her, but she’s super pregnant and needs her rest. I’ll tell her after I…” he trailed off, as though not knowing how to put how he felt into words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I get it,” Nico said. “It’ll be easier to talk to your mom about if you’re more relaxed.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy grinned. “Exactly.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Camp came into view, and Nico could see several campers milling around chatting, while others practised with their weapons. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look, I know we’re not as close as you are to Annabeth, but you can talk to me if you want.” He felt himself blushing slightly. As the son of Hades he wasn’t exactly thought of as a comforting presence, <em>and</em> he was pretty bad with emotions. But he would try. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Percy just nodded, looking too emotional to speak. They walked the last little bit in silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Nico enjoyed silence, and he was starting to suspect that Percy did as well at times. They were far more similar than Nico ever would have assumed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks Nico,” Percy finally said. They’d reached the camp by now, and Kayla Knowles was shouting something about a sword fight to Percy. “It means a lot to me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico rolled his eyes. “You’re one of my first friends, idiot. And I know you’d do the same for me. Now go kick Kayla’s ass, she was annoying me this morning and deserves it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everyone annoys you Nico,” Percy said in a long suffering tone, but ran off, a grin on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico watched him leave, before shaking his head. Having friends was way too much work, but he somehow wouldn’t have it any other way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walked over to the Apollo Cabin, not bothering to knock. Will was inside sorting herbs and various other medical supplies. Nico made a face at the syringes. As a child from the 40’s he’d missed most modern vaccinations, and catching up had been terrible. He'd felt sick for days. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So,” he started, leaving against the wall. “If Percy ever messages one of us and is wanting to hurt himself, we shadow and grab him right? No questions asked?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Will turned, tubing and bandages in his hand and a surprised look on his face. He probably hadn’t even heard Nico come in. He grinned after a moment, white teeth flashing in his tanned face. He didn’t ask how Nico knew. “That’s the plan,” he confirmed. “Glad we’re on the same page!” </span>
  <span>The smile dropped from his face.  “Now take off that disgusting coat before you make my cabin smell like puke.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nico made a show of protesting but complied easily enough. It was pretty gross after all. He left it in a heap outside the cabin, and could faintly hear Percy yelling something at Kayla, the laughter clear in his voice. Kayla did not sound quite so amused.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The son of Poseidon wasn’t okay, not completely, but that was fine.  They’d just have to all be there for one another. </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>(1) I KNOW there’s no Half Term in American schools but I needed him to have some time off school for story purposes lol, and US Thanksgiving didn't fit, nor did spring break really.  Let’s just pretend that Goode (it’s implied he stayed there, right?) goes with the UK system for some arbitrary reason.  So he’s got a week off of school basically.  Just… go with it. I didn't  want to think about the logistics too hard. </p><p>OKAY </p><p>When I first read the PJO I related to Percy in a lot of ways (and Annabeth too, but for different reasons) and saw myself in him. He shouldered too much weight (literally and figuratively), is always the one who’s “all right”, tries to be the strong one, etc… but as it’s in his POV you see that he really struggles with that and has a pretty dim view of himself.  As a pre-teen/teenager that really hit home with me, and while I totally get if you didn’t get that from Percy, I did and it helped me a lot. I mean… I’m not a demigod with the fate of the world on my shoulders, but I had to be the one that was always okay, took care of everyone, ignored trauma for the sake of others, etc… And for like a decade-ish I’d have bouts on and off where self destructive behaviours seemed like the only way to cope. </p><p>I was able to stop and work my way out through a ton of self-reflection, education, and eventually forcing myself to therapy (highly recommended, even though it was terrible at the time) and am at the point now where I’m as over shit as you can be. That being said, I’ll still have moments where I’ll kinda go “what if I....” before CBT takes over. I had a moment on tiktok (I’ve ended up on the lesbian/book/political/kink tiktok and it’s AMAZING) where a song in a video brought back a pretty dark moment, and while I was quickly able to stop myself from spiraling it got me thinking about Percy (it was a pjo tiktok so yeah) and how I’d related to him SO MUCH and this fic would not leave me alone. I love and adore Nico, but I was the kid that had to be okay and happy all the time, so while I related to Nico and love his representation, Percy was the one I projected on way more. </p><p>Basically, I wanted to write something where mental health was talked about in a realistic way between characters who (in my mind - I get it if you disagree) struggle with their issues but are able to form the support system that I never had.  I didn’t put any labels on them (such as depression, anxiety, etc…) on purpose - but read into it what you will.  I’m also not posting this for pity or as one of those old ff.net era fics where self-harm was glorified and I really hope it doesn’t come across like that! I just know reading something where it’s treated as something that isn’t shameful but also isn’t seen as something quirky would have helped me as a teen. :) </p><p>Cheers!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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